Reflection on Reading for Sunday, Nehemiah 8:4-10

V. J. E. 

Dear friends,


I would like to share what came to my mind as I read the readings for this upcoming Sunday, January 24th. Specifically, my attention was drawn to the first reading, which is from Nehemiah 8:4-10. Please join me in reading this passage of Holy Scripture before continuing, and I encourage you to see what the Lord inspires you to reflect on. You can even write it down, as I did. Share it. Here is what I could capture with my pen:

The call to be a teacher is a great one, for every life is a lesson to be taught; every life a lesson to be learned. Every person from the moment of conception has a message to teach, a prophetic cry to be heard! But, how often are we deaf to this cry? How often do we clasp our hands over our ears to avoid even hearing it? Our world cries out to us, our brothers and sisters scream out to us, and often times, in very hidden, even silent ways. We must pray to learn to perceive these cries for help and deliverance. And, what must our response be? Love - a love based on the Eternal Word, in His speech and in His action, in His voice and in His flesh. How can we convey this Word? 

Firstly, by learning how to be teachable; to become teachable. We must always see ourselves as students, ready and eager to learn from the "least" of our brothers and sisters. Secondly, we must take what little we know of Truth and make it accessible to all, as it is. Jesus was not a contortionist. He did not seek to slip into different molds in order to fit into what was socially acceptable or what would've been "nice" for His audience. As a great teacher taught me, there is a difference between what is "good" and what is "nice". Jesus was who He was, and He was at peace with that. Still is. Truth is. On the other hand, we cannot forget that Jesus was and is the most sensitive of men, "a man full of sorrows" (Isaiah 53:3b). No man ever knew man's needs as well as Jesus. He did not water down His message; instead, He brought all people to the source of it, the well-spring of life, by meeting them where they were and calling them to greatness. We must pray to imitate Jesus in this way - to learn how to proclaim the Eternal Word in all that we say and do. And, when it is time for us to teach, let us fight any temptation to see ourselves as above the listener. We are only handing on what we have received, and how much of a mess we can make of that! Rather, let us see ourselves as lifting up the other, the one who is indeed on the same plane as us by virtue of his or her human dignity, to contemplate the Face of God. 

It is only by first seeing ourselves in the proper perspective that we can truly begin to do good. It is only by learning how to listen to the voice of the Lord that we can begin to decipher the voices of our brothers and sisters, and it is only by learning from our brothers and sisters that we can begin to hear the voice of God. Jesus, the greatest of teachers, was the greatest of students. Let us remember too that "no disciple is greater than his master" (Matt 10:24a).



St. Philip Neri, blessed teacher and student of Divine Love, pray for us. 


In His Love,
Sr. April Marie
Novice

Humanity Invades the Convent

Liturgically, December 28th is the feast of the Holy Innocents--remembering all the infant boys two and under who were murdered under King Herod's command.  We remember the first martyrs of the Church, who unknowingly witnessed to the faith in Christ unto death. Children are beautifully pure and innocent--they speak what is on their minds, they seemingly have no concept of who is watching as they express how they are feeling at any time of the day, but they also play with you and warm your soul with smiles and hugs and sheer joy.  In Mexico, this day is remembered for the innocence of children in that playful characteristic.  Similar to our April 1st day tradition, the Mexican culture plays pranks on this day to always remember our call to be childlike.  The Mercedarian Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament were founded in Mexico, thereby our sisters here in Cleveland continued the tradition and enjoyed this day at the expense of the pride of one said postulant (all in good fun).

The details aren't as important here about how said prank happened (see below if interested in the whole story), but what is essential to notice is the humanity found within the person of a Religious and one seeking such a state in life.  We are human, and enjoy a good

laugh as much as anyone.  God longs to give us the desire of our hearts--which, at the root, is the same no matter what vocation you may be called to; holiness and happiness.  He wants all of us to be happy; and loving jokes between sisters are just one of the many ways we can live out this holiness and happiness.

Yet humanity knows that not every day can be so innocent and carefree, with the world exists hardships and pain--with a purpose though.  In the midst of these trials, we are drawn to cling more tightly to someone who understands our weakness.  Christ best empathizes with our crosses for He models that when we fall, we get back up and persevere.  We are never alone on this journey but are supported physically at times and at other times spiritually through another's prayers.  These crosses do not define or conquer us, but rather help us to recognize our great need for a Savior and His ceaseless Mercy.

My joy stems from the depth of a heart united to my Lord who took on flesh in order to redeem my sins through a death He didn't deserve.  I can be nothing but grateful for this endless grace of mercy--"Only when I discover [God] loves me in spite of all my infidelities, when I really discover the mercy of God to me, only then shall I discover the true, compassionate face of Jesus:  only then shall I discover that I was a captive, I was the oppressed.  He comes to break the yoke (Jean Vanier)."

My dear brothers and sisters, I beg you during this Jubilee Year of Mercy to CELEBRATE as we approach the end of the Christmas season and begin Ordinary Time.  There is nothing 'ordinary' about everyday waking up with the intention to be charitable to those you encounter.  There is nothing 'ordinary' about boldly standing up against an injustice at your work.  There is nothing 'ordinary' about choosing to give of your time to those in need.  And these 'ordinary' tasks of daily life are how we are called to live as children of God.  May we rejoice like children in the little moments of each day where we encounter the hidden Christ. Hardships may come but I promise you they will also go. Thirst for the more that is found in the manger, in the Monstrance, on the cross.  It is there, my friends, where we are free to climb into the arms of our Savior, as a little child in need, and smile, because we are safe! United on the Altar of Sacrifice, I'll see you in the Eucharist.

Prank Story:
The sisters have come to realize that I know a lot of people all over the world--thanks be to God for beautiful friendships.  When I returned on December 28th from one of our usual afternoon walks to the lake, I was told by our Superior that my sister had taken a message for me and it was urgent, so I was given permission to call them back.  I anxiously received the note with an area code I was unfamiliar with (that is not unusual for me), so I randomly called 'mystery number' back.

To my dissatisfaction, the voicemail was a generic recording, 'you have reached this 7-digit number...'.  I proceeded to explain who I was, I had received this message to call back urgently, and left the best times to reach me in which our schedule would not conflict (again, anyone who knows me can attest to my thorough messages).  I looked up where the area code was from to help me try and figure out who was calling and recognized that I knew someone who lives in the area of the number.

I did worry (I know, what good does it do Marianne to worry), but then I brought the people to prayer.  God saved me from an extra dose of humility by keeping my prayer silent instead of vocalizing it at Vespers.  The phone rang as dinner was beginning and the sister who answered asked if I could have permission to take it immediately, which I was granted. I went into the community room excited to solve the mystery when a women's voice I did not recognize came through on the other end.  My brain began to think of every person I knew or knew that I was entering, but no voice was connecting with a name.  The conversation got awkward as I began apologizing for not knowing whom I was speaking to even though she explained how she has seen my picture on Facebook; I was clueless, wanting to rejoin my community at dinner and hoping to offer more time to figure out who I was talking to--I should have known by now something was up.  I politely inquired if I could call her back later when I hear an echo down the hallway in her response saying, 'no, I'll be busy the rest of the night'. One of our sisters was on her cell phone (from when she lived in one of our other houses in the states), laughing.  They got me so good!  I walk back into dinner where my other sisters in initial formation has been told about the prank and we just all laughed and shared in the joy of each other.  Thanks be to God for the humanity that is found within the convent!

Setting the Captive Within Our Own Hearts Free

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, truly present in the Holy Eucharist, I place all my trust in You! 

The devotion to the Sacred Heart is very near and dear to, well, my own heart! It was in silent Eucharistic Adoration where Jesus offered me His Heart. He only asked for love in return. Doesn’t it blow your minds that Jesus’ Sacred Heart is present in the Eucharist, burning with mercy and love for us awkward, little humans?! Reflect on this for a moment!

Jesus gives Himself completely to us in the Eucharist and He only asks for our love in return. Oftentimes it is very difficult for us to return Jesus’ total and self-giving love with our own feeble love. Why is this? Well, may I suggest that it may be because we are captives within our own hearts. 

The late psychologist, Carl Jung, illustrates what I am trying to get at in the following reflection:

To accept oneself as one may sound like a simple thing, but simple things are always the most difficult things to do. In actual life to be simple and straightforward is an art in itself requiring the greatest discipline, while the question of self-acceptance lies at the root of the moral problem and at the heart of a whole philosophy of life. 

Is there ever a doubt in my mind that it is virtuous for me to give alms to the beggar, to forgive him who offends me, yes, even to love my enemy in the name of Christ? No, not once does such a doubt cross my mind, certain as I am that what I have done unto the least of my brethren, I have done unto Christ. 

But what if I should discover that the least of all brethren, the poorest of all beggars, the most insolent of all offenders, yes, even, the very enemy himself---that these live within me; that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness, that I am to myself the enemy who is to be loved--what then?

The whole Christian truth is turned upside down; then there is no longer any question of love and patience; then we say “Raca” to the brother within us; then we condemn and rage against ourselves! For sure, we hide this attitude from the outside world, but this does not alter the fact that we refuse to receive the least among the lowly in ourselves with open arms. And if it had been Christ himself to appear within ourselves in such a contemptible form, we would have denied him a thousand times before the cock crowed even once. 

You see, when we do not accept ourselves as we are, even in our woundedness and with all our faults (St. Therese calls this our “littleness”), we become obstacles to God’s love. We become captives within our own hearts because we have become self-centered instead of God-centered. Because of our fallen human nature, we have the tendency to fixate on ourselves and on our various pains and sufferings instead of giving God the primacy in our lives. 

In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, St. Paul tells his little community, “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” Retraining our sinful hearts to see God in everyone and everything, and consequently living in joyful adoration, allows God to transform our hearts into a Heart like His! God is the only one who can sanctify us; we cannot sanctify ourselves. 

During this sanctification process, we recognize our nothingness before God, who is EVERYTHING. This is where we need to humble ourselves and accept God’s merciful love. By accepting God’s love, we are better able to love Him in return. The whole devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus arose because people were rejecting His love!

Now, let us take a look at a journal entry from a 23 year-old seminarian right before his diaconate ordination:

Every time I hear anyone speak of the Sacred Heart of Jesus or of the Blessed Sacrament I feel an indescribable joy. It is as if a wave of precious memories, sweet affections and joyful hopes swept over my poor person, making me tremble with happiness and filling my soul with tenderness. These are loving appeals from Jesus who wants me wholeheartedly there, at the source of all goodness, his Sacred Heart, throbbing mysteriously behind the Eucharistic veils….

Today everything which concerns the Sacred Heart of Jesus has become familiar and doubly dear to me. My life seems destined to be spent in the light irradiating from the tabernacle, and it is to the heart of Jesus that I must look for a solution of all my troubles. I feel as if I would be ready to shed my blood for the cause of the Sacred Heart. My fondest wish is to be able to do something for that precious object of my love. At times the thought of my arrogance, of my unbelievable self-love and of my great worthlessness alarms and dismays me and robs me of my courage, but I soon find reason for comfort in the words spoken by Jesus to Blessed Margaret Alacoque: “I have chosen you to reveal the marvels of my heart, because you are such an abyss of ignorance and insufficiency.”

Ah! I wish to serve the Sacred Heart of Jesus, today and always. I want the devotion to his Heart, concealed within the sacrament of love, to be the measure of all my spiritual progress. The conclusion of my resolutions during the holy Exercises is in my desire henceforth to do all that I have been trying to do till now in intimate union with the Sacred Heart of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.

-Angelo Roncalli…….a.ka. Pope St. John XXIII

See how the future pope and Saint turned away from himself and accepted Jesus’ love despite his “littleness?” This is what we are all called to do! Most of us will not become the pope, but we can all become saints. 

May the Heart of Jesus in the most Blessed Sacrament be praised, adored, and loved with grateful affection, at every moment in all the tabernacles of the world, even to the end of time. Amen. 

In Christ’s Love, 

Sr. Katie Marie

Jesus Is Calling

What do you want me to do for you?

I want to offer a humble reflection about this Sunday's readings. I wish I could follow a specific order, but I have decided to write as the Holy Spirit prompts me to do it.  I write having in mind all you young people who are discerning a religious or priestly vocation.  I hope these reflections throw some light, so, like Bartimaeus, you can see!

First Point: RELIGIOUS AND/OR PRIESTLY VOCATION IS A GIFT GIVEN TO SOME.

The Second Reading, taken from the Letter to the Hebrews, while talking about the high priests says that "No one takes this honor upon himself but only when called by God." Those of us who have been called and responded to God's call to the religious life or the priesthood would not dare to say that "we" made the decision to join a community or enter the seminary in the same way we would've chosen to follow a career.  Rather, we considered religious life or the priesthood because, by God's grace, we perceived a call, an invitation, a divine seduction which was almost impossible to ignore.

Of course, it is an honor to become a bride of Jesus and/or to become an Alter Christus (another Christ), but the honor is conferred on us by God in all gratuity. John Paul II states in Vita Consecrata that "The profession of the evangelical counsels thus presupposes a particular gift of God not given to everyone, as Jesus himself emphasizes with respect to voluntary celibacy (cf. Mt 19:10-12)."

Second Point: WE ARE IMPELLED TO ABANDON EVERYTHING WHEN WE HEAR JESUS CALLING US.

In the Gospel, we see that when Bartimaeus hears Jesus calling him, he "throws aside his cloak, springs up, and comes to Jesus."

Well, some of us definitely have not sprung up and followed Jesus like Bartimaeus because we lacked his faith.  But many of us, after a period of discernment, decided to throw aside the cloak and follow Him. For Bartimaeus, being a blind person and probably being a poor person as well, the cloak meant everything he owned; it was his security. 

To follow Jesus is not easy, Jesus is demanding.  We must throw the cloak, abandon our families, our comforts and our plans for the future.  

As I talk to young people who are discerning, they tell me that they are discerning where they can serve Jesus better.  Maybe that is not how the discernment should go.  In my humble opinion, it is not a matter of where I can serve Jesus better, because after all, God does not need our service. He is God!!! He has the power to do everything!

Maybe the question to reflect on should be: Has Jesus asked me to follow Him? There is only one thing God would not do: violate our freedom! As powerful as God is, He would not oblige us to surrender our lives to Him. 

So, for you young people discerning God's will, it is not a matter of service (even though definitely it is involved since every community has an apostolate) but of surrendering your life to God. Saint Mark points out that "He appointed twelve so that THEY MIGHT BE WITH HIM and he send them out to preach" (Mark 3:14). Our first and foremost duty then is to become one of Jesus, to be with Him. 

Have you heard his voice? Is the person of Jesus attracting you in a way that He becomes your spouse, in a way that He becomes more valuable than many children, a nice house and a car, a successful career?

Has Jesus whispered your name? Then, like Bartimaeus, TRUST JESUS and leave behind what has been your life and cling to Jesus' hand and follow Him wherever He goes.

Third Point: JESUS WILL CONFORM YOU INTO HIMSELF.

The first reading, taken from the Book of the Prophet Jeremiah says that "They departed in tears, but [God] will console them and guide them; [He] will lead them to brooks of water, on a level road, so that none shall stumble. For [He is] a Father to Israel."

Also, the Book of Revelation says that we will be given a white robe that has been washed in the blood of the Lamb.  Religious life and priesthood are a white martyrdom, but when one loves, one is ready to sacrifice everything for the beloved to become one. And we long to become one with the crucified and risen Jesus.

All of us have shed tears when we have said our byes to our families and friends, but one moment of spiritual consolation is worth many tears.  

Believe me, after thirty something years of religious life, I can attest to what Saint Teresa of Avila says about Jesus, she says that this King knows how to repay his subjects, giving them many graces and consolations. God is such a good Father, confidant, companion, consoler, bridegroom.  In Him all the lofty dreams of our little poor human hearts are satisfied.

The Little Sister

Viva Jesús Eucarístico (V.J.E.) 

If you were wondering, no, I am not talking about my height (but I’m pretty sure I am the smallest of the sisters in formation hahaha).   

I just entered postulancy about two months ago.  There have been many things to adjust to like sharing one bathroom with three other women, wearing the same outfit every day (and keeping it clean), eating meals at the same time as the whole community, the prayer schedule, and living in a convent with Sisters!  With a total of fourteen women in the house, it is a challenge, but one that is filled with joy! I had anticipated many of these changes, but one in particular was totally unexpected: the adjustment of being the “little sister.”  

In my almost 24 years of life, I have been accustomed to being the oldest or the older one in both my family and among friends.  I have several people I look up to and confide in, but I have never been involuntarily the “younger sister.”  I am the youngest in the convent, and I didn’t realize it for a while.  It came to light one day when false thoughts about my sisters were storming my mind.  In my weakness, I became sensitive and broke down crying.  Why was I crying over such trivial things that weren’t true?  In this moment, Jesus revealed two things: 1) I have control issues and 2) I am the youngest. 

As for control issues, I will always have them so I was grateful that Jesus was showing me how to grow in trust even more.  But as for being the youngest, this was new to me.  My sisters affectionately treat me as the “baby sister,” but I did not want this, yet God has placed me here right now as the “little sister.”  What does this even mean?  Why is this even important?  Taking this to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, He told me I need to live out being the “little sister” of the family which means I need to learn how to be the “little sister.” 

So for the past two months, this has been a great challenge so far, but truly a gift.  Each day as I learn to be the “little sister,” I grow in charity towards God and towards others, especially my sisters.  I am learning to be the “little sister” who serves her older sisters (postulants and novices) and listens to them, and the “little daughter” who serves and listens to her mothers (professed Sisters). Yet, I am also learning to receive and accept the acts of charity of my Sisters when they desire to serve me and sacrifice for me as their “little sister” or “little daughter” (or when they occasionally want to spoil me!).  

I am growing to be “little.”  That’s the paradox of the Gospel.  “He must increase; I must decrease” (John 3:30).  If I desire to be full of Love, I must give myself entirely to Jesus.  This doesn’t happen overnight.  It will be a gradual change, a gradual decrease of self, but an increase in Jesus Christ. It is in the small daily things that God calls me to great fidelity, humility, and charity.  It is in my littleness that I will grow in love for my Father, for His Son, and for the Holy Spirit.  All I have is a small, poor love to give to God, but it is enough for Him because He only asks that I freely give Him everything. 

Please pray for me as I continue to discern God’s will, and please pray for my sisters in formation: Marianne, Michelle, Yve, Sr. April Marie, Sr. Ines, and Sr. Katie.  

“Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.” –St. Thérèse de Lisieux 

Fiat voluntas Tua 

The Back Pew

          Something that’s come to mind recently has been a question of why the back pew of any Church, Cathedral, or neighborhood parish is more frequently occupied by a lone straggler while the front pew remains vacant. Every Thursday here, with the Mercedarian Sisters, we attend our holy hour at 3pm at Our Lady of Mount Carmel, a parish within the Westside happenings of Cleveland, OH. Every Thursday, people wander into the church, some recognizable, others, with faces unknown. As anticipated, almost every one of these individuals come in from the streets and sit in… the back pew.

What is so becoming of that back pew?

             During Sunday or daily Masses, I have noticed upon entering or exiting a Church that the body of some stranger mysteriously occupies the wooden pew far, far away in the rear of the church, bent over with their head in their hands. Meanwhile, the pews closest to the altar are occupied by invisible air, kneelers tucked in tight.

Maybe in that back pew, we feel safer because the doors to the world are nearby, a quick exit into the noise is accessible if the silence grows to be too unbearable.

Maybe in our brokenness, we feel we belong there, in safe distance from the purity of all-knowing God who in His might could not possibly forgive our wrongs once more.

 Maybe the shame or suffering we endure is so heavy we can’t lift our limbs forward anymore and we collapse into the lonely pew with an ounce of hope.

Maybe it’s simply the want for privacy, away from wandering glances or uninvited stares, from judgmental thoughts or unkind looks.

Maybe the pews in the front are falsely believed to be reserved for holy people, not me.

Maybe the person who comes in is aware that the stench emitting from their unwashed body may be an inconvenience to others around them.

Maybe the hiddenness, away from the light of the altar is what we are drawn towards when we want to crumple up, weary, tired, and sad.

Maybe we don’t want others to see us vulnerable in prayer, gazing at Him with all our beings, all our attention, as if He is All there is in that moment.

Maybe we don’t believe He truly loves us and that His beating heart pumps all the more as we approach Him, as we choose this moment to be with Him. The God Who made us, Who saved us, Who saves us every day and supplies us with His own flesh and blood to keep us going here on the earth.

I do wonder if our church community as a whole would be transformed if we each decided to sit in those intimidating front pews, near the altar. Perhaps the distractions will diminish, leaving our senses more capable of perceiving the visible and invisible enormity of what takes place for our sake.

Imagine walking into a Church on Sunday or even at a random time during a weekday and seeing fellow brothers and sisters closely gathered as if they were eager students sitting in the front of the classroom at their favorite class or dedicated fans at a concert or show. I would think when Jesus was here on earth looking like a man that the crowds pressed up as close as possible to Him to hear Him speak, to observe His mannerisms. Think Zaccheus.

“He (Jesus) entered Jericho and was passing through. ² And there was a man called by the name of Zaccheus; he was a chief tax collector and he was rich.³ Zaccheus was trying to see who Jesus was, and was unable because of the crowd, for he was small in stature. ⁴ So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree in order to see Him, for He was about to pass through that way.

When we meet up with friends, we don’t think of sitting more than an arms breadth from them. In the Church, we don’t exactly have the accessibility to sit very close to the tabernacle all the time. What we do have is the power to choose. No matter where you are, Christ is beside you but, what if you moved towards Him?

The Eucharist, God's Gift of Love

"Do this in remembrance of me."  (1 Corinthians 11:24)

PRAISED BE JESUS IN THE BLESSED SACRAMENT!

In the Eucharist God’s love is expressed; his mercy is manifested in the kenosis of his love expressed as donation, the constant offering of himself to the human being.

The love of God doesn’t have limits, does not come with strings attached, with conditions, requirements… On the contrary, His love is pure agape, given in total surrender and offered to all. But at the same time, God is a mystery, a great mystery hidden in the consecrated bread, the bread of life. Through this Bread, our soul is fed and is to transformed and sanctified.

Eucharist is the most precious oblation of love for the human being.  When we are receiving Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, we are receiving his very own life in our very limited being; he is transforming our life transforming us in a tabernacle.  Ah! If one could only fathom such great mystery… if only our intelligence would perceive the humble omnipotence of God and what He does in our souls when we receive Jesus… then we would live a Thanksgiving and love Him as He deserves.

The Eucharist is the mystery of love that transforms our human misery and makes us in the image and likeness of the Creator.

A Eucharist Mercedarian soul must live a constant oblation to God in contemplative prayer and in service to our brothers and sisters. It should be a soul that is living free, that overflows with joy, fullness of life, a living tabernacle. In other words it is a soul that witnesses the fullness of the presence of our beloved Jesus and therefore it is able to project God.

Pray for each one of us, Mercedarian Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament, so we may show our love to Jesus in the Eucharist and live with plenitude each Eucharistic celebration as a meeting of our soul with that of the Beloved.

Sr. Maria Isabel, HMSS